I am in control!

This morning I had my coffee at 2 a.m. I couldn’t sleep so, I went to my Pinterest page looked under my depression tab, and opened my tab with Heather Stillufsen quotes. When I don’t know how to put my thoughts into words or when I need some motivation to help me write, her drawings and positive quotes are there.

There are some days when I just don’t want to move. I want to lay in my bed and hide from myself. I found that depression is a self-consuming disorder. It surrounds the person with all the thoughts from the negativity file in your subconscious. My file must be large! Every day I have to fight against these thoughts. I even told my therapist, I would start a log to take with me everywhere to write down the thoughts that I have daily. On the flip side, I now have to come up with a positive thought I believe in to counter the negative one. A very hard task when all you’ve done is file the negative thoughts without ever dealing with them.

I see myself as a very optimistic person. I look for the good in others and the world. I naturally think you start your life from birth as good. It’s what you learn through your journey that makes you bad.

I believe a person has control over his/her life. When trauma happens, we lose control over certain aspects of our lives. One is the way we think about ourselves. If you receive therapy, you are taught how to rethink. You learn to replace those pesky thoughts with wonderful positive ones. You may have your own. You may remember some of your mom’s. The point is to find positivity to help you build a file you can open up and use daily.

The point is you are in control of your emotions. Even when I wake up feeling down, I find a positive thought to help me get out of bed, walk down the hall, brush my teeth, take a shower, walk to the kitchen start my coffee, have a cup as I say another positive affirmation: I am in control of my day! I am in control of my life! Today is going to be a great day because I am alive and I survived!

Until next time,

You are in control!

One thought on “I am in control!

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